Coach Self-Care Isn't Selfish, It’s Strategic

coaching role general coaching relationships Nov 10, 2025

by Katie Maciulewicz

Picture it. You're running on a potent mix of lukewarm coffee and the sheer will to support one more teacher before the bell rings. Your calendar looks like a game of Tetris, and the little voice in your head is screaming, "My needs are not being met!"

It's a tough truth, but here it is: as instructional coaches, our main product is our presence, our clarity, and our ability to connect. If we’re running on fumes, that product is going to be seriously low-quality. It's hard to build crucial trust and deep connections with teachers when we feel like we're about to run head-first into a wall.

Prioritizing your own well-being isn't a weekend luxury; it’s a strategic choice. Taking care of you leads to more authentic, present, and effective communication and collaboration with teachers. It's what moves you from an exhausted helper to a powerful partner.

Remember Maslow?

Think about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, that classic pyramid we were all taught. We know that a person can’t focus on self-actualization — exploring new ideas and risk-taking — if their fundamental needs aren't met. That applies to your teachers, of course, but it also applies to you!

When you, the coach, are utterly drained, here’s what happens to your collaboration:

You can't be present. You might be physically in a co-planning session, but mentally, you’re still trying to remember if you set up the Google Form for the PD. A lack of presence prevents the deep, active listening required to build trust and truly understand a teacher's needs.
Your feedback becomes transactional, not transformative. Exhaustion can lead to quick fixes or generic advice, preventing the deep collaboration needed to create sustainable change.
You accidentally send a "lack of support" message. Teachers are already feeling overwhelmed and may be in the Survival or even Disillusionment phases of their first year. If your own stress makes you rushed or short, you can inadvertently make them feel like their challenges are a burden, which undermines the safe space you’re trying to create. It’s hard to offer emotional support when your own emotional tank is dry.

In short, authentic collaboration is born from a place of personal well-being.

Setting Boundaries: The Velvet Rope of Coaching

If we want to build healthier working relationships, we have to start by communicating our limits. We want to be available, but we can't be on call 24/7. It’s time to install a "velvet rope" around your personal time.

Here are a few practical tips to set boundaries and communicate your availability like a pro:

1. Block and Batch Your Time Like a Boss 📅

Remember how to create a personal PD plan? You time block a dedicated hour each day to work toward your goal. We need to do the same for our coaching work—and for our non-work time.

Batch Desk Time: Set aside specific, non-negotiable blocks for data analysis or planning. Don't let these time-consuming tasks bleed into your meeting time.
Block Your Personal PD: Dedicate one day a week to listen to a coaching podcast or read that instructional book. Block this on your calendar so others know you're busy. You cannot pour from an empty cup!
Batch Check-Ins: Instead of responding to every email immediately, set 2-3 specific times during the day to answer non-urgent requests.

2. Communicate Your Prime Time 🗣️

Don't make teachers guess when you’re available. Be proactive and clear.

Use Office Hours: If possible, establish 1-2 hours a week as "Open Office Hours" where teachers know they can drop in for quick fixes or a short chat. Let them know that outside of these times, urgent requests should go through a specific channel (like a help desk ticket or a text if it's an emergency).
Email Signature: Add a brief line to your email signature: "I value focused work, so I check email at 9 a.m., 12 p.m., and 3 p.m. If you need immediate assistance, please stop by room 101."
Create a Menu of Support: Make it clear what kind of support you offer and how long it takes. For example: "5-minute quick fix," "30-minute co-planning session," "Full-cycle coaching." This manages expectations from the start and makes your availability an intentional choice, not a reaction.

3. The "No-Go" Zones 📵

You're a coach, not a superhero—though sometimes it feels that way! Commit to one or two non-negotiable breaks. Maybe you listen to your true crime podcast on your walk and leave the school laptop in the car. Maybe you use the "You write five journal entries, I grade one" system for your own to-do list: I answer five emails, I take a five-minute chair stretch.

Remember, we're trying to create a space where everyone—coaches, teachers, and students—can learn, grow, and thrive. That noble goal starts with us being in a healthy place to lead the way. Go block off your self-care time now. Seriously. We’ll wait. 😉

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